I’m a Virgo. Yup, September baby.  

And if you do not know Virgo traits…we’re perfectionists with high expectations. Not only for ourselves but for everyone. And by being a perfectionist with high expectations, we are overly critical and want to control everything so we can create the perfect outcome.

In my 45 years of life, I finally learned that by trying to control the outcome, I actually create the opposite effect. I am limiting myself. By trying to control everything, I am pushing away any opportunities that could arise from the situation.  

Here’s an example.

During Covid, I wanted to work as hard as I could on my business because I knew, once Covid restrictions were behind us and no longer a huge threat, I would not have as much time. I knew after 2.5 yrs of isolation, I would be more inclined to spend time with friends and family. And I thought by dedicating my free time to work during lockdown would lessen the guilt I would feel later when I choose to be more social.

Fast forward to earlier in this year, I chose to take more personal time which I knew would happen. But I felt guilty for not working as hard and I lost the motivation to do anything.

Why?

I prepared myself for this day for 2 years. I shouldn’t feel this way.  And the more I didn’t do anything, the more I felt guilty and ashamed and then I did even less.

One day I realized what had happened.  

I was burnt out.

By wanting to control my future, I worked extra hard for two whole years.  I didn’t calculate the burnt out factor in my prediction. By wanting to control how I would feel, I actually created the exact same thing I was trying to prevent.

What did I learn from this experience? By trying to control the situation, I actually harmed myself. I could have worked at a steadier pace and gave myself room to breathe.

But I am not dwelling on this outcome. Had I not been my typical Virgo self, I wouldn’t have this lesson to share with you. 🙂.

So where am I now? Am I still feeling guilty and ashamed or have I moved on?

Both.

I reminded myself I chose to use the last two years to build up my business. I reminded myself the last 2 years were not normal circumstances and I had the privilege to work on my business without interruptions.

I started to get my motivation back by continuing to learn because knowledge helps me grow. And that is one of the reasons why I went into coaching. It is to share my own struggles to help others grow.

What are you currently trying to control right now? What could it look like if you let go of the control?

Share with me your current situation.